Well hey all. I’ve realized that while my colleague and I have been trying to get this old site up and going with some legitimate reviews, we’ve neglected the drunk section of it. And that just can’t do, I mean there are plenty of films I’ve seen lately while imbibing one thing or another. And I know Dylan has seen a bunch of films and knowing how much of a lush he is, he’s got to have a couple to write about. So the idea for this is to do recaps of films we’ve seen. Still reviews, just shorter and more concise than the other ones we do as a duo. So without further ado, may I present, our obituary. Or rather the Drunken Critic Recaps.
Netflix: Not anymore
Viewer: Mark the Martian
Jesus, the things you find late at night; which is surprising since most of it just becomes porn. But no, I found Takeshi Miike’s (Audition, Ichi the Killer) Japanese western set in the fictional town of Yuta, Nevata. No I’m not kidding. It is essentially a Japanese reimagining of Sergio Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars: a lone gunman with no name comes upon the town of Yuta, which is under contention by rival gangs Genji and Heike, color coded white and red respectfully, if you happen to forget what the fuck is going on. That’s not to say the story is confusing, it’s rather simple: Genji want to kill the Heike, Heike want to kill the Genji, the gunman is asked by a prostitute to kill them all cause the Heike leader killed her husband and now she’s a prostitute for the Genji, but there is also some indication of another gunman named Boody Benten involved somehow, and... ok no, it does get convoluted. And it didn’t help that for some unknown reason Miike decided to direct this whole movie in english even though only a few of them can speak it fluently and that I was getting progressively drunker. So subtitles wouldn't hurt in the least with this one.
That’s not saying this is all bad, not at all. The action sequences are great, with brilliant shootouts and plenty of impossible kills. While the movie isn't nothing but action, the times when the guns come out, are always exciting, if a bit eyebrow raising. How is it while when some guys in a scene get shot in the head, it's just blood, but one guy gets feathers blown out the back of him? These are not the questions we mere mortals are meant to have answered. Best just roll with it and enjoy it. The set design as well are gorgeous; Miike creates a very real and vibrant town but plays with the colors so much that everything gets a more surreal feeling. The final fight, for me at least, was pretty awesome, albeit short. The snow, which actually comes out of nowhere without reason, creates this stark background for the fight between... well you’ll see, but like I said, it’s pretty intense. And there is the ever hilarious aspect of Quentin Tarantino’s role as an aged gunman. The two scenes are relatively brief, but just absurd when they happen.
And yeah it is kinda entertaining knowing now how he made Django Unchained and he was once in a movie involving Django. But unfortunately, that’s about where I stop with all the praise.
Aside from the story being rather difficult to follow with the aforementioned ridiculous english, none of the characters are all that engaging. They just exist, do things, and for the most part, die. There is no sense of character growth and no one I really cared about. Now, while I was rocking down my whatever number beer, I will say that the Genji leader is a badass. He’s a terrible person, but he’s a katana wielding sharpshooter who kicks ass like, well, like someone who kicks a lot of ass. The action from the characters is really all that makes them entertaining, as what they have to say didn’t do a lot for me. A few have some unique quirks, but on the hole, none of them stand out. Also there is the juxtaposition of the light and dark tones in the film. Now that might be a big word to think of while drunk, but you can understand it when it shifts from two wounded characters reaching for each other in the midst of the war torn town, to the schizo sheriff trying to figure out how and why he's got a big fuck off cross impaled in his back. It's kinda hilarious, but it takes away from the tone of the moment, and that's just naming one scene. The movie can be funny, touching, violent, insane, and confusing, and unfortunately sometimes all at the same time. But I’ll stop now, this is but a quick recap for all ya’ll.
So at the end of the night, I rather enjoyed myself. This was because I got sufficiently drunk, but still. While the story can become convoluted and drag at points, and the tone shifts unexpectedly now and again, the gorgeous setting and kick ass action can help push you through it. That and a few brews. So relax, crack open a cold one, and enjoy a movie that you won’t know what’s going on, but you’ll enjoy watching it.
Viewer: Mark the Martian
Sukiyaki Western Django
That’s not saying this is all bad, not at all. The action sequences are great, with brilliant shootouts and plenty of impossible kills. While the movie isn't nothing but action, the times when the guns come out, are always exciting, if a bit eyebrow raising. How is it while when some guys in a scene get shot in the head, it's just blood, but one guy gets feathers blown out the back of him? These are not the questions we mere mortals are meant to have answered. Best just roll with it and enjoy it. The set design as well are gorgeous; Miike creates a very real and vibrant town but plays with the colors so much that everything gets a more surreal feeling. The final fight, for me at least, was pretty awesome, albeit short. The snow, which actually comes out of nowhere without reason, creates this stark background for the fight between... well you’ll see, but like I said, it’s pretty intense. And there is the ever hilarious aspect of Quentin Tarantino’s role as an aged gunman. The two scenes are relatively brief, but just absurd when they happen.
And yeah it is kinda entertaining knowing now how he made Django Unchained and he was once in a movie involving Django. But unfortunately, that’s about where I stop with all the praise.
Aside from the story being rather difficult to follow with the aforementioned ridiculous english, none of the characters are all that engaging. They just exist, do things, and for the most part, die. There is no sense of character growth and no one I really cared about. Now, while I was rocking down my whatever number beer, I will say that the Genji leader is a badass. He’s a terrible person, but he’s a katana wielding sharpshooter who kicks ass like, well, like someone who kicks a lot of ass. The action from the characters is really all that makes them entertaining, as what they have to say didn’t do a lot for me. A few have some unique quirks, but on the hole, none of them stand out. Also there is the juxtaposition of the light and dark tones in the film. Now that might be a big word to think of while drunk, but you can understand it when it shifts from two wounded characters reaching for each other in the midst of the war torn town, to the schizo sheriff trying to figure out how and why he's got a big fuck off cross impaled in his back. It's kinda hilarious, but it takes away from the tone of the moment, and that's just naming one scene. The movie can be funny, touching, violent, insane, and confusing, and unfortunately sometimes all at the same time. But I’ll stop now, this is but a quick recap for all ya’ll.
So at the end of the night, I rather enjoyed myself. This was because I got sufficiently drunk, but still. While the story can become convoluted and drag at points, and the tone shifts unexpectedly now and again, the gorgeous setting and kick ass action can help push you through it. That and a few brews. So relax, crack open a cold one, and enjoy a movie that you won’t know what’s going on, but you’ll enjoy watching it.
5 beers outta 10
No comments:
Post a Comment