Goon

Reviewer: Marco Polo
Netflix: Yes, yes, and a whole lot of yes

So I finally got around to seeing this movie, and I geared up with a good load of liquor for it.  I mean, everything about the setup of this movie tells me that it’s gonna be a good one to get drunk to.  First off, it’s written by Jay Baruchel (the scrawny guy from Tropic Thunder) and Evan Goldberg (the co-writer of Superbad and Pineapple Express).  That right there got me ready for what would have to be a whole lot of vulgarity, fat jokes, and the frequent odd penis reference.  Then the fact it’s headed by Seann William Scott, who I have never really seen outside the American Pie series.  So I just set myself for seeing Stifler on ice.  And then the synopsis on the back of the case (yes I own it, I got it as a gift) ended the whole thing with the mother of all cliffhangers: “all he needs to do is learn how to skate.”  I didn’t even care about the rest of the plot; that Doug Glatt, Scott’s character, is in a dead end job as a bouncer, gets the chance to do something with his life when he gets asked to be an enforcer for a minor league hockey team.  That line prepared me for just terrible jokes about not being able to skate and then in the end he’d prove himself and save the day.  I sat back, took a shot, and prepared myself for the worst.

Damn, I couldn’t have been more fucking wrong.

Goon is a great little film.  And right off the bat, that whole business with the “not being able to skate” stuff, gets dealt with in minutes.  And that bit was preceded by Glatt getting into a punch up with half his new team.  This movie is so much more than what the synopsis set it up to be.  Yes, Glatt gets the shot to be something as an enforcer on a minor league team, but they leave out what makes Glatt so compelling.  He’s impossibly kind-hearted; apologizing after he hits someone and, for the most part, being a bit of a pacifist.  But he knows that his greatest strength is his, well, strength.  Seann William Scott blew it away by really showing how awkwardly sweet Glatt can be, while also showing how absolutely determined he is to be somebody as an enforcer.  Also, when he begins his time in Halifax on the team, he meets Eva, played by Alison Pill, who he becomes infatuated with.  And what makes this little romance really interesting instead of feeling tacked on or unnecessary, is the combination of the romantically awkward nature of Glatt and Eva being very blunt about how she’s a terrible person, since at that time, she’s cheating on her boyfriend with him.  It makes watching this interaction engaging. (And that bit with the boyfriend is played out really well later on.)  And the raunchy humor?  Well that comes from his teammates, but primarily from Jay Baruchel's character of Pat, the foul-mouthed, hockey-loving best friend of Doug.  And he’s the one who pushes him to take the opportunity, showing very well how their friendship works.  From there, the story goes nowhere but up.

The whole thing moves quickly from a really useless hockey team to a real minor league team of the Halifax Highlanders.  It’s there we get to see some of the most interesting characters in Doug’s teammates, including Xavier Laflamme, the hotshot Doug was brought on to protect.  And through Laflamme, we get to see two conflicting personalities collide, creating more character development all around.  But the best of the members of the Halifax Highlanders is without question their coach Ronnie Hortense (played hilariously by Kim Coates, well-known as Tig from Sons of Anarchy).  But what about tension or an antagonist, you ask?  What’s the point of the story of an underdog if there’s no real threat to him?  Well shut up, I’m getting to that.  Cause that’s where Liev Schreiber’s character of Rhea “The Boss” Ross comes into play.  Ross is the preeminent enforcer in the NHL, and Glatt’s idol.  But a truly nasty hit lands him in the minors, putting him in the same league as Glatt.  Thus creating a sense of tension; as Doug “The Thug” Glatt rises in popularity, more and more people talk about the epicness of the fight between Glatt and Ross.  But that’s not all; the reason Laflamme is in the minors is because he was knocked out in a game by Ross three years earlier, which in turn destroyed his self-confidence and makes his shy away from oncoming players. All of this creates a very tight knit story of characters that is a joy to watch unfold.

And the last thing I will speak about is that this is a bloody film.  The fights are made to be as graphic as possible, but not by going into the absurd.  They do a good job showing you how violent this line of work really is.  But they never glorify the violence, rather just play it straight; that this is a very real part of hockey.  And the eventual confrontation between Doug “The Thug” Glatt and Ross “The Boss” Rhea is wicked bloody, but it’s the culmination of the whole movie building up to it, and it fucking delivers.

So, in the end, I wish I wasn’t nearly as drunk as I was for this.  This movie is good with a drink or two, but it deserves your full attention.  Seann William Scott’s heartfelt performance, the strength of the supporting cast, the well-executed humor, both raunchy and not, and the overall story of a dead-end Boston bouncer getting the chance to be someone and excel at his strength as an enforcer in minor league hockey makes this movie worth every second of your time.

1/10 (Which in case the explanation wasn't good about this, means it was very good)